For these images, I started with a clear vision: natural lighting, blurred floral background, intricate golden tiara, floaty tulle dress. But it’s rained every day since I moved in and my tiara is from eBay and dresses are expensive when you’re living on a few pounds a day. I barely had natural light as the sun only comes into my room first thing in the morning and hits one wall above my desk. However, as I’ve always done, I had myself and a tripod. I set up in front of the wall by my door. It has the worst lighting in the entire room, but it’s the only wall I have that’s white and not covered in posters or black scuff marks from the previous owner. I took a few test shots to experiment with aperture and ISO settings as well as the framing before 'getting into costume'. This was my eBay tiara and a tulle skirt worn as a dress. The base images were lacking the 'flair' I originally planned for, so I focused on editing instead, incorporating the oil painting inspired textures I used in my A-Level 'Masterpiece' project and a few pieces afterwards. I brought in butterflies as a symbol of change and hope and resurrection and endurance. The decision to remove my face came from a time of low mental health and a loss of identity. I was at a point where I felt as if I lost so much of 'myself' to mental health issues that I barely recognised who I was anymore, almost as if I no longer had a face. This little series is very rough round the edges, but the concept is a reminder of a very important phase of my life: a transitional phase, feeling lost and without an identity, being a stranger to others and becoming one to yourself.
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February 2020
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